Fun Size Opinions

No one has EVER accused me of overwithholding my opinions, so here go a few more. What in the heck is up with "fun size"? This, my friend, is NOT fun size:

This, my friend, is:

My friend Emily sent me this MOST wonderful post from a parenting blog. This lady is pregnant with her first child and posted about what she plans to do with her maternity leave:

"Despite what my sisters have told me about having a child and the implications that it will have on my personal time, I envisage my four months of maternity leave as just that - a time to turn over a new leaf.
.....as much as I am looking forward to nurturing my newborn baby, I am also looking forward to the downtime "in between her naps" where I plan to do the following:
- Complete my degree
- Master the keyboard (I have purchased a self-teach book in preparation)
- Learn how to play guitar
- Start a herb Garden
- Take up art lessons and do some painting
- Tan and start a home gymming program to restore my body to it's former shape
- Paint my toenails and wax biweekly
- Writing ( I will excite my blog fanbase of 2 people, with an exciting new blog daily)
- Start a photography portfolio "

Although I do not have the heart to respond to this mom-to-be regarding her post (for fear of sharing my guarded opinions), I wanted to relay my thoughts on her sweet post to you. Prior to becoming a mom, I too, secretly found most moms to be, oh, how I shall I say, WHINY. Okay, kids are some work, but if you are not working, you can still keep a mostly immaculate home, cook amazing dinners, take photography classes, plant some extra gardens, work out extra hard, paint your nails a different shade every couple of hours. I mean those little things are just so tiny and I am just so organized (unlike those whiny moms). And if one more person said to me, "Enjoy your sleep now, there's not much with the little one comes" I was planning on replacing their shampoo with Neet.

These are secret thoughts that I did not have the courage (THANK GOD) to say out loud or post on a public forum. Because when my 6 lbs, 12 oz. bundle helped me realize that I was lucky to have time to run a comb through my hair or swig down some Instant Breakfast before he finished his 15 minute nap, after three hours of trying to get him to sleep, I came to honor the mothers who came before me. Now, I truly am not one to spoil a blossoming mommy-to-bes plans (because I am serious about those Neet thoughts) and I am an optimist (thus the belief that I wouldn't be "one of THOSE moms"), but sheesh, being a mom, especially of a newborn is really, really hard (right Lacie? right Lindsay? right Christy?). The difference is that when they arrive, even though it can make you sad that you smell like urine and you have Instant Breakfast on your shirt, you are really too in love with that little guy to mind as much as you might have planned you would under those conditions.

In my much cherished book, I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids, it contains a quiz that includes a few items I checked, that are my very most treasured:

• You secretly wish you had your own apartment.


• You consider a trip to the dentist you special "alone time".


• You reflexively refer to the bathroom as "the potty"
  
• You find that slowly browsing the aisles at Target, by yourself, is better than therapy.

In other opinions, these are the MOST adorable Tranformer Optimus Prime and Yoda of ALL times (and even though it is sometimes really tiring, I adore and cherish being their mommy and would choose NO other path):

When going through my pumpkin pictures, I was really frustrated that this person's bottom got in the way of my beautiful boys picture, until I realized it was actually the back of a scarecrow. I forgive you scarecrow.

Because what's a good pumpkin patch, without a hearty camel ride: